How to Recover from Being a People Pleaser

Emotional Health of High-Achieving Women

Apr 8

Written By Anne Welsh

I recently sat down with Yitzi Weiner at Authority Magazine to talk about How to Recover from Being a People Pleaser.

Read the full post here

Today I’m going to share with you some of the key takeaways from our conversation.

Five Techniques That Can Help Individuals Break Free From The Cycle Of People-Pleasing

1 . A great starting place is simply recognizing that you are people-pleasing. So often we are going around on autopilot, not realizing that we are trying to achieve certain goals to please someone else- either our partner, our families, our boss, or simply our culture.

2. Doing some work around your self-esteem is another way to counteract people pleasing. So often, our sense of worth is tied up in the approval of others. If we disappoint them, then we are not seen as good by them or ourselves. Yet in the end you are enough just as you are.

3 . Another tool is to start naming what YOU want- your own values, needs and desires. This can be as simple as asking yourself what you want for dinner! A great tool is to take 5 minutes to list 5 things you want in the next year (or week or 6 months). Then list 3 steps you can take towards each- this starts to make those goals/desire/needs more tangible and accessible!

4 . Doing some boundaries work is an excellent place to work on people pleasing. So often we say “yes” to others as a way to make them happy. Yet, time is a limited resource and yes and no always come in tandem. It can help to recognize that saying yes to something is a no to something else.

5. Practice & learn to tolerate the disappointment. It can be really difficult to tolerate disappointing others. Yet, we can learn to handle it.