If you're a high-achieving woman juggling motherhood, career, and the never-ending mental load, chances are you've felt “mom guilt”–that nagging sense that you're never doing enough.

Whether you’re staying late at work or carving out 30 minutes to exercise, mom guilt has a way of creeping in. Whispering to you that prioritizing yourself is selfish. That success comes at your children's expense.

But here’s the truth: Mom guilt isn’t a natural instinct—it’s learned behavior in response to unrealistic expectations.

The Roots of Mom Guilt

Women have long been taught that good motherhood means self-sacrifice. We internalize messages like:

“Your kids should always come first.”
“A real mom does it all.”
“Success means being everything to everyone.”

These cultural narratives are reinforced everywhere—from social media to pediatrician’s offices to workplace policies that overlook caregiving demands. But these expectations aren't just unfair—they're harmful.

Research shows that maternal guilt is linked to higher levels of stress, anxiety, and even burnout.

One study from the University of Michigan found that working mothers who felt guilty about time away from their children reported lower life satisfaction and poorer mental health than those who were supported in their dual roles.

Mom Guilt Isn’t Helping Anyone—Especially Not Your Kids

What if the guilt you’re carrying isn’t a reflection of your love—but of outdated ideals that no longer serve you?

Let’s reframe what “being a good mother” looks like:

A mom who sets boundaries shows her children how to advocate for their own needs.
A mom who pursues meaningful work models purpose and contribution.
A mom who rests teaches her children that humans aren’t machines—they need care too.

Children don’t need a perfect mother. They need a real one. One who’s present, emotionally attuned, and not constantly running on empty.

FAQs: A Therapist’s Perspective on Mom Guilt

Absolutely. In fact, integrating those identities—rather than viewing them as in conflict—can lead to deeper fulfillment and stronger parenting. When you honor your whole self, you're more present and less resentful.
If guilt is dictating your decisions—like skipping important self-care, overcommitting at work, or staying in cycles of burnout—it’s worth examining. Guilt is a signal, not a rulebook.
- Naming it: Just saying “this is mom guilt” can reduce its grip.
- Rewriting the script: Ask yourself, “Is this my truth—or a story I was handed?”
- Getting support: Coaching or Therapy can help unravel deeper beliefs and make room for a new narrative.

Time to Reflect

What’s one area of your life where you’ve reclaimed time, energy, or joy from the grip of mom guilt? What helped you get there?

Want more support navigating the emotional life of ambitious motherhood?

Sign up for my newsletter or explore executive coaching or group coaching sessions designed just for working moms who want more ease, clarity, and purpose.

Get in touch today

citatations

Sutherland, Jean-Anne. (2010). Mothering, Guilt and Shame. Sociology Compass. 4. 310 - 321. 10.1111/j.1751-9020.2010.00283.x.

Kim, A., Jeon, S., & Park, I. (2023). Influence of Parenting Guilt on the Mental Health among Single-Parent Women: Multiple Additive Moderating Effect of Economic Well-Being and Level of Education. Healthcare (Basel, Switzerland), 11(13), 1814.