Motherhood and the Default Mode Network: How Your Brain Reshapes Your Inner World

The Maternal Brain

Aug 19

Written By Anne Welsh

Woman presenting a line graph on a whiteboard during a lecture.

We often talk about how motherhood changes your life, but less often — and less publicly — discuss how it alters your inner world.

Not just your calendar, your body, or your to-do list.

Your mind.
Your sense of self.
The quiet space where your thoughts drift when no one is talking to you.

This internal landscape is shaped in part by a network of brain regions known as the Default Mode Network (DMN), and recent research suggests that this network undergoes significant shifts during the transition to motherhood (Kim, Dufford, & Tribble, 2020; Hoekzema et al., 2022).

And that shift may explain why so many mothers describe feeling like a different person, not just because of external demands, but because something deep inside has actually changed.

How Motherhood Changes the Brain

The Default Mode Network is the set of brain regions most active when you're not focused on the outside world — when you're daydreaming, reflecting, planning, or imagining someone else's point of view. It's a hub of self-referential thinking, social cognition, and introspection.

In other words, it's the part of the brain that makes you feel like you.

But during pregnancy and early motherhood, the DMN doesn't stay the same. Neuroimaging studies have shown increased connectivity within the DMN postpartum, particularly in regions associated with empathy, self-concept, and social awareness (Kim et al., 2020). That increase in integration may help mothers better understand their babies — and themselves — but it also means that the "resting" brain is no longer resting in quite the same way.

One study found greater connectivity between the amygdala and nucleus accumbens in the months following birth, two key hubs for emotional salience and maternal motivation (Noriuchi, Kikuchi, & Senoo, 2008; Kim et al., 2020).

These changes can deepen a mother's capacity for attunement, intuition, and relational processing.

"Pregnancy leads to selective and pronounced changes in neural architecture and neural network organization, particularly affecting the Default Mode Network… which may underlie transformations in the neural representation of the self when becoming a mother."

— (Hoekzema et al., 2022)

Why You Might Feel More Reflective — or More Unsettled

Many mothers describe feeling more introspective after having a child — more aware of their values, their childhood patterns, or the emotional climate of the people around them. This makes sense, given that the DMN is deeply involved in both self-awareness and social sensitivity (Kim et al., 2020).

But this same neural shift can also bring discomfort. The boundaries between self and other may feel more porous. The "background noise" of your thoughts might feel louder or more emotionally charged. You may find yourself rethinking things you thought were settled — your ambitions, your relationships, your sense of purpose.

This isn't regression.

It's reorganization.

And like any period of neuroplastic growth, it comes with growing pains.

Motherhood as a Mirror

One of the most profound — and disorienting — parts of early motherhood is that it turns your inner world outward. Suddenly, another human's needs are shaping your days. Their cries pierce your thoughts. Their sleep (or lack of it) invades your body. Their future becomes part of your present.

And yet, alongside the external noise, your internal dialogue often gets louder too, filled with questions like:

"Am I doing this right?"
"What kind of mother do I want to be?"
"What does this mean for who I am now?"

These aren't signs of weakness.

They're signs that your Default Mode Network, that self-awareness system, is actively trying to reconcile your past, your present, and your emerging identity (Hoekzema et al., 2022).

From a neuroscience perspective, your brain is integrating this massive life transition into your personal narrative. From a human perspective, you're simply trying to make sense of the new you , and maybe mourning the old one, too.

What's Really Happening in the Brain?

Your Questions, Answered

What DMN changes contribute to emotional intelligence in mothers?
The DMN becomes more connected in areas related to empathy, perspective-taking, and emotional salience, enabling mothers to better read others' emotions, especially those of their child. This rewiring also deepens internal self-reflection, making new mothers more attuned to both themselves and the people around them (Kim et al., 2020; Noriuchi et al., 2008).
How long does the reorganization last?
Changes in the DMN can be observed for at least two years postpartum, and some researchers believe specific shifts may be long-lasting (Hoekzema et al., 2022). While the most intense identity restructuring often occurs within the first 6–18 months, the process of integration can extend well beyond this period.
What if I feel emotionally overloaded?
That's common. The maternal brain is more emotionally sensitive, not as a flaw, but as an adaptive strength. It helps you attune, but it also means you feel more (Kim et al., 2020). Emotional overload isn't a sign of failure — it's a signal that your internal processing system is temporarily flooded.
How can I support myself through the identity shift?
The goal isn't to rush back to your old self. It's to allow space for your new one to emerge. Practices like journaling, taking micro-moments of quiet, recording voice memos, and engaging in conversations with trusted friends can help you hear yourself clearly in the noise.

Gentle Strategies for Integration

If you're navigating this shift, here are ways to move through it without losing yourself:

Name the process. It's not "being off." It's a transformation.
Anchor with micro-reflections. Just one small question each day: What felt most like me today?
Create soft rituals. Tiny routines (tea, walks, music) help regulate your nervous system.
Don't rush meaning. You're still becoming. Let that be enough.
Seek mirrored spaces. Find a coach, therapist, or community that reflects you back — not the version others expect, but the one emerging now.

The Maternal Brain and Leadership

Here's where things get especially interesting: the same network that enhances your self-awareness and emotional attunement in motherhood also supports your leadership capacity (Kim et al., 2020).

The DMN aids in long-term planning, value-based decision-making, and emotional insight — all essential components of effective leadership. So when I work with mothers returning to demanding roles, I don't see someone who's fallen behind. I see someone whose brain has been doing extraordinary internal work.

This recalibration supports:

Sharper self-awareness
More thoughtful judgment
Greater tolerance for ambiguity
A more profound sense of "what matters"

Yet these changes are often buried under narratives of "mom guilt" or "brain fog." It's time to rewrite that story. Because what's happening is not cognitive decline — it's cognitive recalibration.

The Bottom Line

If you've found yourself thinking more deeply, feeling more intensely, or questioning everything, you're not broken. You're in a brain state that reflects growth, not failure.

The maternal brain is not just attuned to the needs of others. It is also rebuilding the self.

And if we stop pathologizing that process, we can begin to honor it.

Through the lens of neuroscience, we can see motherhood not as a detour from your path, but as a portal. A rewiring of your brain that makes you more attuned, more reflective, and ultimately more whole.

You are not less. You are not lost.

You are rewired for something more profound.

And the journey to make sense of it all?

That's not a glitch.

That's the work.

Sources:

Kim, P., Dufford, A. J., & Tribble, R. C. (2020). Maternal brain resting-state connectivity in the postpartum period. Scientific Reports, 10(1), 122. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-019-56790-1

Noriuchi, M., Kikuchi, Y., & Senoo, A. (2008). The functional neuroanatomy of maternal love: A review of human and animal fMRI studies. Psychiatry and Clinical Neurosciences, 62(3), 217–225. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31106452/

Hoekzema, E., Barba-Müller, E., Pozzobon, C., Picado, M., Lucco, F., García-García, D., ... & Vilarroya, O. (2022). Pregnancy leads to long-lasting changes in human brain structure and function. Nature Communications, 13, 6931. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-022-33884-8